This is why I copyright everything.

Rikki, one of my best college friend’s is getting married in September and the bridesmaid dresses are a ruby red. She originally thought that we should wear shoes dyed to match the dresses. Her friend from high school suggested that the bridesmaids just wear black shoes. The following is a conversation between another college best friend and me on facebook about the black shoes.

Me: I think it would look good and would beat the hell out of buying dyed shoes that's expensive as hell

Jenny: yeah that’s true

I just couldn’t picture it in my head...whenever I picture the dress its bright red and gaudy

(I know that’s not what it really is)

Me: think about a pretty red dress with black strappy heels.

You could wear that over and over

Jenny: that’s true  

Me: I liked it because I was thinking about bringing my black shrug for the reception dinner

copyright

Jenny: that would be nice

I have a black shrug as well

Me: that’s why I copyrighted it.

Jenny: I thought it was just a mistake

Me: nope.

Jenny: im gonna bring all the black shrugs I have and wear them all

Me: I'll allow that cause you'd look like a mental patient

Jenny: id look awesome

Me: like you had huge shoulders

Jenny: shoulder pads are coming back

I miss my college friends. We just get each other.

crazy nicoderm dream

This is a dream I had 3 days after quitting smoking. 

November 8th, 2010

  This night's dream I was in a Glee club (exactly like the TV show) and we were doing terrible at competitions. Rachel and Finn were the only two I can remember being in the dream. The dream takes place during an apocalyptic time and some people are zombies but not the kind that eat the flesh of other humans. They were cool. I had custody of Dion Butts, he was hungry so I was giving him graham crackers and milk. When we left the place we were at, we were walking home and we heard the ominous laughter of the only zombie/monster that would kill and eat people in a horrible way. He looked somewhat like the Hitcher from the Mighty Boosh without the long nose and the polo around his eye. The only way you can get away and be safe from this fearsome beast is to cross a threshold of a building. Unfortunately it's hard to express how scary this thing was because his name was Giggles. The reason his name was Giggles is because you always heard him laughing that creepy laugh. He was always running to. So if you heard the laugh you knew you had to haul ass and get away from him. SO Dion and I start running and we finally get to the apartment that Finn and Rachel share. I was just seconds past the threshold when Giggles caught up to me. Thinking I was safe I jumped up a few of the steps and turned to see him cross through the opening. I freaked out and ran the rest of the steps knocking people out of my way on the way up. When I finally got into the apartment Finn and Rachel are discussing ways to make our choir more successful when I say, "Who cares about that?! Giggles came up the stairs with me!!!!!" They look at me and tell me that their landlord has allowed Giggles to live there because he needs more tenants but he is not allowed to hurt anyone. The next scene takes place at Kingsport Grocery Company. I am really frustrated at something and as I start to go in the door I hear Giggles as he walks out into the street, giggling of course, and I look at him and say "Fuck Off Giggles! NOT TODAY!" and he just gave me a shrug and went on his way.

This is what Giggles looked like minus the eye polo.

The Fabric House

Lily has completely destroyed the blinds in my bedroom. I can't blame her really, all of her puppy life she lived in the country where there were no cars and no people walking by. We moved to Kingsport in June when I got a sweet job here. My bedroom faces a very busy street where there is traffic and people walking. Lily starts going bananas and barking if she sees a car backing up, children squealing  down the street (the occasional adult squealing aka my crazy neighbors who live directly across who I am pretty sure go to the neighbors down the street to get drunk and then go walking home around 11pm and stir up my dog, no, I'm not bitter...) Anyway, this is the result of all the excitement outside the window.

She's basically adjusted the blinds to her liking so she can easily lay on the bed and stick her little chin on the window sill and bark at 3am when she sees a light or anything worth barking at.

There are several problems with this:
A) People can see into my room. This leads me to getting dressed in the dark. I constantly think someone is just sitting outside my window while I'm reading at night and thinking dirty thoughts about how they can enter my room.
B) I live in my roommate's house aka she bought the house, these are her blinds and my dog has destroyed them. (I'm not that big of a beach, I plan on replacing them. Just not until I move out. What's the point in spending money on something that Lily will inevitably destroy again?)
C) Now that the blinds are adjusted to Lily's liking, she can see everything which means at 3am when I'm asleep she will see a light flash by and start barking. This makes me wake in an angry rage yelling at her to "SHUT THE FECK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The solution: I will make my own curtains!


       This morning my mom and I went into town here in Pound and stopped by the Fabric House. This place is incredible. If you ever want to step back in time and feel like you are back in the 50s stop by Pound, VA. When you walk in to the Fabric House you smell the old and the new all at once. It would be like stepping into a brand new building that is full of antiques. Although with the Fabric House it is the exact opposite. The floors are made of wood that slopes down toward the back of the store. It's a light color wood that's about an inch wide and a foot long. As I was standing there while "Sissy" cut my fabric I looked down at the floor and thought about how long it probably took to lay  those planks down. The floors creaked with every step I took. I assumed with how old the building was that the fabric inside would be vintage as well. I was wrong and the fabrics were modern but it is incredible how historic the building is.  It looked as if the store was two separate stores and they tore down some walls. On the other side there were four huge machines that my mom said are quilting machines.

The great thing about the Fabric House was the lady who (I assume) owns the store. As soon as she saw my mom she referred to her as "Sissy". "Hey Sissy! Is that your daughter?," then to me "You look just like your mom are you in visiting for the weekend?" It was so funny that she kept calling my mom Sissy. Then she started calling me Sissy. I found it very off-putting and slightly weird. We then started to talk about Pound. She asked me if I like being back in "the P-O-U-N-D" and then she referred to Kingsport as a BIG city. I always want to laugh when people from home refer to Kingsport as such. (For those of you not familiar with the area Pound has a population of  1,089 and Kingsport has <48,000) 

We purchased the material needed and I allowed my mom to use the sewing machine at her house to make the curtains. I'm sure if I had made them myself they would have turned out crooked and wrong. So far they are doing a fantastic job of keeping peeping toms out and Lily's barking down. Only the test of time will truly tell. 

                                          (Please disregard Lily's dirty crate area. She shreds things)

I'm a blogger

I am having a conference call with some old friends from college. I will try to blog about them. Let's see... a good story from college that includes my friends. Here goes:

I totaled my car one time. It was my senior year of college and I was on my way home from where I worked, RED LOBSTER. I called my friend Kati from the ER because I didn't know who else to call and I figured she would mom me and make me feel comforted.

Kati came and picked me up in her mini van PT Cruiser and told me she was having dinner with her parents who were in town when she received my voicemail.

Me in my voicemail: "Kati... Hey... It's Donna. I was in a car accident. I'm fine but my car is totaled and I have no way home. Can you come get me?"

Kati to her parents: (Imagine a nice quite family dinner at Texas Roadhouse and Kati stands up dramatically) "MOM, DAD! I HAVE TO GO! DONNA NEEDS ME!!!!!!!"

So good ol' Kati came and picked me up and we headed back to the house after dropping off my prescription at CVS for some good ol' pain killers for my whiplash.

I was really bummed out, a lot about my car (which I loved and cherished and still miss to this day) but more so about the fact that this was the night of the peanut butter and jelly party.

The Peanut Butter & Jelly Party, also known as the PB&J party. Jenny and Rikki had noticed that after their track meets the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that are made for the team go uneaten. Jenny thought it wise to tell her coach that she would take the left-overs and donate them to a soup kitchen or something of that nature. Jenny is a sneaky person who is quite devilish. Instead of helping the homeless, Jenny brought the sandwiches to our house and we invited a bunch of our friends over. We told them, "Bring your own alcohol and we will supply the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." We also called other friends and just said, "Hey, we've got some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Come over."

The night was a huge success with not as many PB&J's eaten as I thought but lots of dancing and drinking. Mostly dancing to Milli Vanilli.  Here is the night in pictures:

                                            (I loved my VW.. Rest in Pieces)

                                             IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!
                                  (Left-Right: Kati, Alex and his girlfriend who I don't know)

                                             In this picture you can really see the amount of
                                          peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can also see
                                          sneaky Jenny in the dark gray, long-sleeved shirt, Zick
                                          in the dark eyebrows, Perry sporting some red
                                          hair and Rikki smiling with PB&J in her hand.

                      Alex fashioned his own chalice using the bottom of a diet mtn dew 2-liter.

                                On the left is me and the other important person in the picture, Meagan

                                                                Nintendo 64!
        

High School Gym Class

    Gym class was never a real favorite of mine. I'm not considerably athletic, and the thought of running around our high school five times always made me want to fake a low-blood sugar attack. Regardless I think some of the funniest memories come from gym class. 

   

   My freshman year we were playing dodgeball which always means someone will get hurt. Two of my friends, Josh and Nicole had crushes on two of my other friends, Tim and Mandy. During the game Mandy had one of the balls and threw it at Josh and he somehow caught it between his ring finger and pinky which made it break. Josh looked at our gym coach and asked, "Is my finger supposed to bend this way?" Coach called Josh's mom and she promptly took him to the doctor to get his finger reset. 

  Twenty minutes later Tim has one of those devilish little yellow balls and throws it at Nicole who ALSO catches the ball between her ring finger and pinky. Her finger snaps and is turning blue and looks disgusting. Unlike Josh, who kept his cool the entire time, Nicole starts screaming and being a big baby. It was a mess. It was at this time I realized that sometimes girls are big pansies and although I'm sure it hurts like hell having your finger break if a guy can handle it in a placid way then we girls who bear children through our hips should be able to as well. 

     The best gym story I have is from my Junior year. We were playing a game of kickball indoors and I have never been a competitive person so I mostly goofed off and tried my hand at flirting which was obviously a failure. My team was in the "field" and I was standing in what would be the outfield of the gym behind second base. One of my friends who had half of his index finger cut off as a little boy was standing in front of me. I wasn't paying attention and questioned him as to how many outs we had when he answered he threw up his half of an index finger and middle finger indicating that there were two outs as he declared "TWO!" As a cruel joke I extended my middle finger and a bent index finger and responded with, "Don't you mean one and a half?" I laughed until I cried cause not only did I make fun of him for having a stub for a finger* I also managed to flip him off. 

    

       *Don't think poorly of me, his nickname was "Stubby" and he was proud of his stub. He would do silly things like stick it in his nose like he was impaling his brain with his finger.